If you think about feet for too long, they start to look really strange. Why do we have this other pair of hands at the bottom of our legs? Why is my second toe stepping out of line and acting like it’s the big toe? Who are these people picking up pens with their toes and how do we kick them out of our homes?
The same is true of love. Stay with me.
Continue reading “I’m Falling in Love and I’m Scared”
Some kids on the World Wide Web refer to the number of sexual partners a person has had as their “body count”. When I discovered this, I wanted to delete today’s blog and just publish this sentence instead: the only time a body count is relevant is if somebody has died. Then I could have logged off, sipped on a sweet Rubicon and spent the rest of my afternoon watching Frasier instead.
Continue reading “They Called Me A ‘Slut’”
Content note: references to PTSD.
As a Cool Internet Person, I feel very secure when using my voice to give unsolicited advice to strangers, critique Jake Paul vlogs and rate pictures of dogs. But I’ve waited nine solid weeks to use this platform to talk about mental health in any meaningful way.
Continue reading “I’m Unwell and We Need to Talk About It”
Everybody lies sometimes. Ed Sheeran, Omid Djalili, the guy who voices C-3PO, they’ve all lied. Even I, a perfect angel, have told a lie in my life. That being said, I’m a laughably bad liar. I can’t look someone in the eye and lie convincingly without getting flustered, or spinning a yarn about being late because a raccoon stole my shoes.
Continue reading “You’re Lying to Yourself”
Once upon a time, a man turned to me after sex, looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Y’know Nikki, you should really get a boyfriend”. It was late, but I told him I’d see what I could forage from the dumpster in the morning. Prince Charming’s throwaway statement reveals so much about how we view sexually liberated, content, unattached women. I didn’t want to be this man’s girlfriend. I didn’t want to be any man’s girlfriend. I wanted to be single.
Continue reading “I Want to be Single”
If I know memes (and believe me, I know memes), we’re supposed to hate our exes. Your ex-boyfriend is trash. Don’t pick up the phone; he’s just calling because he’s drunk and alone. Based on my extensive research, most people don’t actually loathe their exes. The majority of relationships fall apart in a slow, sad and confusing way. There are more shades of grey than a poorly written Twilight fan-fiction.
Continue reading “I’m Hung Up on My Ex”