What’s “realistic love”? 

Bong Saquing: Radical Love

….and if you don’t know, now you know.

Where does G4RL come from?

Let me tell you how G4RL began. After a painful break-up, I desperately searched for an antidote to my heartache online.

“How do I get over my ex?”

“How do I move on after a break up?”

“How do I feel better about myself?”

Spoilers: There is some bullshit on the internet. There is a whole lotta Grade A Bullshit on the internet.

Many of the search results were variations on the theme: How To Win Back Your Man. I did not want to win back My Man. My Man was toast. I wanted to eat something else. Like a delicious bagel coated in a thick layer of positive self-regard, topped with resilience and sprinkled with the freedom to make meaningful choices about my future.

That’s when G4RL started to form.

I set about creating the resources I needed for my broken heart. I wrote about love, sex and relationships. I wanted my writing to be warm and sincere, with a healthy dose of humour.


What do ‘Girls 4 Realistic Love’ value?

Talking to the women in my life, I realised how much the Grade A Bullshit has affected all of us. We demand so much of ourselves and our mental health suffers as a result. We are afraid to acknowledge our humanness. We are afraid to ask for our needs to be met. We’ve swallowed the idea that romantic love is the be-all-or-end-all.

Championing realistic love means celebrating your  self-worth. It means prioritising self-love above all else. It means accepting  that love comes in many forms. It means understanding that romantic love is not the only meaningful or valuable love. It means only engaging in romantic love which is fully reciprocal, devoted and consistent.

As G4RL grew, I connected with other strong women who also wanted to share their wisdom online. Together, we have one goal in mind. We want to help others navigate the chaotic intersection of romance and mental health.

G4RL is a feminist blog. G4RL is not just for women to read. We hope that our content will resonate with you, regardless of your gender. G4RL prioritises giving a voice to women, who continue to be disadvantaged and oppressed in our global, patriarchal society. G4RL aims to be inclusive. There is an awareness that our earlier articles are written through the lens of white privilege and heterosexuality. As G4RL grows, so we hope that the diversity of our voices will grow, as we stand united under a common set of values.

We’re just girls, standing in front of the internet, asking for realistic love.

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